Friday, February 27, 2009
i think these few days everyone's emoing... anyway today was the first tym i did something so amazing in my whole life. chinese block test was today n starts from 8-11plus. then i was doing the shitty paper n then sit thru one half hour then went toilet , refill my wattie bottie and lastly stolled to the canteen to buy siew mai to eat... luckily didnt see any teacher whom i know of. hahas. tt was so shiok. then walked back to exam hall continue take exam. lol. i think its so freaking cool but anyways i got scolding from my mom esp. hmm. dont know why these few days alot ppl emo-ing.. i dont know what's wrong wif them. n i seem to not know what's wrong wif me. anw, a word for szzzzzeting... is that there's no one u can trust but urself. rmb tt.. n only u urself can be trusted. believe urself n trust ur instinct. still lovesick for him. still never see him. its a week already. i shant elaborate on tt. wish i could see him tmr when training... *cross my heart*
~11:12 PM
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Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Its been....6 days since i last saw my fav fav fav tcher... omg. i hate it when there's no school. means i dont get to see him. n i dont see him in school these few days ): saddening. i miss him :X when can i see him again? and block test had been very very bad these few days. hahas. my history essay is even worse. i forgot to take sides. omg. i wrote all agree. sure fail now. even chemistry is quite badly done... so sian. haix. i giv up on my chi one this friday... stupid idiot block!!!!! made me lose my sleep then somemore cant see my qin ai der ): stupid test. arrgh. cant wait for next week. so tt i can see him again!!!! weeeeeeee.....
PS im staring out in the dark waiting for some day to come. dont know what day though
~5:49 PM
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Saturday, February 21, 2009
i've been crying alot recently. i dont know. maybe its cos of bloc test stress. n quarrels with my stead and also my fav tcher. recently mr s jus ignored me, give me the v cold look and shouts at me an stuff. i dont know why he did that but im extremely upset about it. was it something i said? or was it something i did. dont leave me hanging in a city so dead held up so high on such a breakable thread. i think its not jus infatuation. i do love him, i think i do. tts y i've recently been cold to my stead. i know its wrong of me to b in love with a tcher but i seriously do like him. but these two weeks of how he treated me made me think alot. was it that i've been too close to him in the past that other tchers sort of tell him not to b nice to me anymore or smthing. i dont know. i just know tt i've been crying alot these few days and i cant concentrate on my bloc test. looking at mr s picture do spur me on in studying but my mind n heart is so occupied with this matter. i dont know if i should ask him whats wrong. bcos once i know the answer mayb at least i can get a reassurance that its not me which is causing him to dislike me. i just want to search for this answer. what went wrong between us? anw he's been having cold these few days hope he get well soon. i just wished i could turn back time and enjoy the moments he pay attention to me. i love him. i just wanna see him smile at me once again, tease ,e once again. it hurts to see him ignore me. if hurting myself will get him to do that once again, i will cut myself or take drugs. i dont mind as long as i can hav his love once again.
ps szeting... im not angry at you, its ur own private life and bsides im too preoccupied with mr s that i cant think of anything else anymore.
~2:20 PM
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Sunday, February 8, 2009
hmm. i dont really get the part whr i shouldnt avoid him szeting... but anws.. i'll try k. hahas. n i feel so tired all over. my parents didnt but any food for me to eat as breakfast. :( they thought i was still on diet. haix... feeling so hungry n tired. somemore maths tuition later. anw i jus saw a bunch of my beloved fotos on Mr seah's facebook. hahas. guess they were v close together. i will try not to avoid him anymore. i will TRY.... PRATA PRATA PRATA. go eat smthing now. cant stand it. tata :D
~10:58 AM
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Saturday, February 7, 2009
i tried. i tried it yesterday. i've seen him loads of time yesterday. first was after lecture szeting went to the toilet while i jus practically stared at the screen. then szeting came out n kept looking at another direction and i know he's there. i turned over n looked at him emotionless n he kept looking back waiting for me to smile and say bye to him. i did not do so. n just turned away looking back at the screen. the second time was in canteen. i saw him walked past me but i pretend i saw nobody and continue drinking my soup. the third time was at third level. we just looked for teacher and saw him walking towards us. i couldnt take it n turned my head to the other side and finally walked past him without saying anything or looking at him. this was when szeting said that i was freaking bad and i should nt do this to him. i know i was very bad but i stil dont wanna say hi. although tt was what i said but deep in my heart i really kept wanting to see him. so we paraded at third level very often, till our chinese teacher asked why did we kept appearing at staff room today. finally at evening, after chinese, me n szeting walked down to staff room n i peeked into the office. just as i peeked, i saw him n was feeling freaking shy that i rushed out to the tables there. after awhile he came out n he kept looking at us this time n said hi but only szeting answered him back. i stil look down on the floor. he tilted his head smiled at me but stil i didnt hav any reaction. then he asked szeting is there something wrong. n she just said no. and so he walked off.. there is something wrong but szeting just said no. she was like so freaked out when i said i feel like confessing my feelings towards him. hahas. n she had the nerve to tell miss teng today that i like adrian tan- my differentiation bear bear... both of them found it amusing n i was speechless. lol. then i told szeting im faithful n i only like my mr sequeira. she just freaking laughed at me... ><
~9:22 AM
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Thursday, February 5, 2009
just did my maths integration tutorial half way. WOW. im so proud of myself cos i finished question 1&2. as usual some dunno how do but i tried my best! hahas. did 2 outta 8 qns. not bad. tmr then do liao. so tired now. jus read szeting's blog. haha. im so nice she say i force her to write. omg. so bad. lol. rest assured our friendship will still be fine :D we will stil go out buy shoes, try clothes randomly n ur favourite: GO EAT SUSHI! , n my favourite : GO EAT PRATA! lol.. i feel hungry now. omg. i miss my prata. ): anw gf, im nt angry at chi tcgers lar... i don care them liao. waste my breath n energy. if i dun talk n head down in chi means im 80% slping, conserving my energy. POWER SAVING!!!! so environmental friendly :D i should b pasted the enviro friendly sticker lor. tsk tsk. n i jus dreamt of him in my afternoon nap till my mom wake me up :( at least its the nicest dream i ever had for soooo long.
PS i cant find my teddy bear on facebook!!!!!!!!!---n i stil like him a lil
~10:21 PM
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Wednesday, February 4, 2009
had a really bad day today. went to sch for two lessons of chines and hist. as usual the chinese teachers scolded me n stuff when my friend talked to me. then when i jus kept quiet szeting punched me to tell me to listen. im feeling so frustrated and angry already. my mood has already been spoiled by the freaking chinese teachers whom arnt smarter than me by any. then was history lesson. it's always my favourite lesson and i thought it'd make my day much better. but it proved me wrong. the sbq was hard to do and hist tcher some sort of nag at me n tell me to stop wasting time when im jus discussing of what to do with my friend. thinking of what i wrote yesterday i was wondering if he read or know my feelings for him but i didnt care anymore. im afraid to look at him in the eye anymore, smile at him or tilt my head one side to say hi to him. i dont wanna be his favourite student anymore. i guess he doesnt like me. feeling emo right now as i think of him. my hist tcher hates me. i dont know. im feeling all mixed up right now. but i know i wont be the huiyi that would always smile n laugh when i see him and i dont wanna be huiyi who's so enthu when seeing him anymore. mayb its my pms. tts y i feel so emotional recently. but i wont cry.
~7:47 PM
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Tuesday, February 3, 2009
jus ended sch n reached home. my chem test got 83/100 (: so happy. hahas. tho i should hav gotten higher cos i had ALOT of careless mistakes. but anw it was fine. saw my beloved hist tcher jus now. i was standing up drinking my milo while watching him sitting at the table in front of me. gosh he's soooo cute! he looked at me n i looked back at him for quite awhile then he told the tchers beside him tt im his favourite student. LOL. he's jus so so so so cute the way he talks n stuff. dont know how long i've like him but yeah.. im practically going outta my mind liking him. he is just way tooo cute tt im so obsessed with him. going crazy everytym i see him n somehow my heart beat accelerates when i see him. hahas. i guess my friends all know tt alrdy. but i DO LIKE HIM ALOOOOTTT. hahas.. he's the cutest thing i've ever seen! ok, szeting scolded me siao but yeah. cant stop myself. lol. this sat going out wif alex they all. loking forward to putting szeting n alex t2t! LOL
i do like you; but i know its impossible
~5:54 PM
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