missSECRET
I wiped it away,gaze back at the sky...
Coz' no matter how much you hurt me,
No matter how many times you lied..
I won't ever let you see me cry.
FORGIVE ME IF I SMILE..
IT'S TO HIDE MY TEARS...
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
25 REASONS WHY I ALWAYS SUCCEED IN EXASPERATING MY GP TUTOR!
1. I always choose the wrong question for the wrong reasons (my fav ones are about mass media, when i can talk about how weatern values in newspaper, a movie, televisions shows and in radios corrupted Asian Confucius traditions or how violence and sexual programmes turn people into rapists and mass murderers)
2. I always fail to appreciate the SIGNIFICANCE of key words in essay questions like "only" "largely" "merely" and "best".
3. I always MISINTERPRET key words : I am convinced that " largely" actually means "solely/totally/completely", that and that "best" really means "good".
4. I always open my essay with the same topic sentence, regardless of the essay title.
" At the dawn of a new millennium, in this fast-paced, stressful, paper chase modern day society that we live in today, we have come a long way since cave men days when we used to hunt dinosaurs with sticks. "
THis kind of profound observation is guaranteed to impress the examiner.
5. I always neglect to provide an incisive answer to a question in a concise and impressive thesis statment at the end of my opening statement at the end of my opening paragraph. Instead i like to either merely repeat the question, or totally ignore it, or (and this is my favourite!) answer an entirely different one!
This adds an element of suspense to my essay, keeping my marker guessing to the very end. Sometimes, he can finish the entire essay and STILL NOT KNOW what my position on the issue is!
6. I always enjoy making exxagerated claims, sweeping statements and over-generalisations :
eg. If the govt bans capital punishment, many more crimes wil be committed which will lead to chaos.
This demonstrates that i am a courageous individual, fully prepared for any worse case scenario that may befall my hapless country!
7. I always like to give a totally one-sided case, ignoring all possible counter-arguments and failing to acknowledge other points of view.
This shows the examiner that i am a very determined and decisive person who refuses to be side-tracked or be persuaded by other people's opinions.
8. Even though i know my script will be marked by someone from the U.K, i always like to accuse 'Westerners' of being totally responsible for all the problems plaguing my society. I also enjoy pointing out that drug-taking, violence, promiscuity, rude behaviour, selfishness, decadence, materialism, and a total lack of filial piety are Western 'values' that virtuous Asians had never even heard of until they were 'infected' with them. The truth must be told, no matter how painful.
9. I always use slang expressions like "a must", "kids" and "smart". Even if an essay question contains the word "films", i insist on changing it to "movies". I always refer to mankind as "human" - I wouldn't be human if i didn't. My teacher keeps telling me to use more 'felicitous' expression, but how can i when i don't even know what 'felicitous' means???
10. Being a modest person, i always ignore my teacher's compliments about my handwriting being "execrable" and "unintelligible". Basically, I set my own standard here, which is : " If i can read it, why can't you?"
.
.
.
. etc....
Of course there are more but at least these few ten are the ones i would recommend to other students bcos they are guaranteed to succeed!
© HCI/2008
~9:22 PM
* * *
25 REASONS WHY I ALWAYS SUCCEED IN EXASPERATING MY GP TUTOR!
1. I always choose the wrong question for the wrong reasons (my fav ones are about mass media, when i can talk about how weatern values in newspaper, a movie, televisions shows and in radios corrupted Asian Confucius traditions or how violence and sexual programmes turn people into rapists and mass murderers)
2. I always fail to appreciate the SIGNIFICANCE of key words in essay questions like "only" "largely" "merely" and "best".
3. I always MISINTERPRET key words : I am convinced that " largely" actually means "solely/totally/completely", that and that "best" really means "good".
4. I always open my essay with the same topic sentence, regardless of the essay title.
" At the dawn of a new millennium, in this fast-paced, stressful, paper chase modern day society that we live in today, we have come a long way since cave men days when we used to hunt dinosaurs with sticks. "
THis kind of profound observation is guaranteed to impress the examiner.
5. I always neglect to provide an incisive answer to a question in a concise and impressive thesis statment at the end of my opening statement at the end of my opening paragraph. Instead i like to either merely repeat the question, or totally ignore it, or (and this is my favourite!) answer an entirely different one!
This adds an element of suspense to my essay, keeping my marker guessing to the very end. Sometimes, he can finish the entire essay and STILL NOT KNOW what my position on the issue is!
6. I always enjoy making exxagerated claims, sweeping statements and over-generalisations :
eg. If the govt bans capital punishment, many more crimes wil be committed which will lead to chaos.
This demonstrates that i am a courageous individual, fully prepared for any worse case scenario that may befall my hapless country!
7. I always like to give a totally one-sided case, ignoring all possible counter-arguments and failing to acknowledge other points of view.
This shows the examiner that i am a very determined and decisive person who refuses to be side-tracked or be persuaded by other people's opinions.
8. Even though i know my script will be marked by someone from the U.K, i always like to accuse 'Westerners' of being totally responsible for all the problems plaguing my society. I also enjoy pointing out that drug-taking, violence, promiscuity, rude behaviour, selfishness, decadence, materialism, and a total lack of filial piety are Western 'values' that virtuous Asians had never even heard of until they were 'infected' with them. The truth must be told, no matter how painful.
9. I always use slang expressions like "a must", "kids" and "smart". Even if an essay question contains the word "films", i insist on changing it to "movies". I always refer to mankind as "human" - I wouldn't be human if i didn't. My teacher keeps telling me to use more 'felicitous' expression, but how can i when i don't even know what 'felicitous' means???
10. Being a modest person, i always ignore my teacher's compliments about my handwriting being "execrable" and "unintelligible". Basically, I set my own standard here, which is : " If i can read it, why can't you?"
.
.
.
. etc....
Of course there are more but at least these few ten are the ones i would recommend to other students bcos they are guaranteed to succeed!
© HCI/2008
* * *
HUIYI♥
19.
090991
NUS ENGR :D
every tear.every night.for you it's worthwhile.
AWWW
LOVE TEDDY
LOVE guitar (:
LOVE elmo
LOVE aristocat
MEMORY LANE.
- January 2008
- February 2008
- March 2008
- April 2008
- July 2008
- August 2008
- September 2008
- October 2008
- November 2008
- December 2008
- January 2009
- February 2009
- March 2009
- April 2009
- May 2009
- June 2009
- July 2009
- August 2009
- September 2009
- November 2009
- January 2010
- March 2010
- June 2010
- August 2010
- October 2010
- December 2010
- February 2011
- January 2012
TAKE OFF.
♥shangfa(:
♥jiajie
♥YIJIA DARLING(:
♥nicole coussie(:
SPECIAL THANKS.
WISH.
I wanna runaway.
Live my life my own way.
Do things I want them to be.
Just get life done and over with.
Wish I had a shining white armor man.
With a castle full of maids.
And live my life with my man.
And hopefully he won't ruin this life.
And get hopefully I get to live my life.